So what is the talk you ask?
It is the talk every mother dreads, the sex talk. So I was forced to have this talk once my 9 year old kept asking where do babies come from? Now up until this point I have given the “safe” answer which is, mommy’s tummy. But now that my two daughter have turned the young tween age of 9 years old. They are at the age where they need to know the TRUTH.
Google it, Birds and Bees talk with kids
I don’t think anything could prepare any mom for this talk. But I needed some help! So I googled it, I watched some videos, and read some articles on the best way to communicate this message. Now during my research I have to admit, I was horrified of the videos and wording some of these parents were using.
Be cautious and do what you feel comfortable with. Mostly I just used it as a guide and was able to customize a message I felt comfortable with. This conversation is so important because it really sets the tone for how your child views sex. So the best thing is to have an open and honest conversation versus talking at your child.
Find a quiet place
First thing I did was find a quiet place away from any distractions to have the conversation. How did I start? I jumped right into it. I allowed my children to lead first with the questions they had. My 9 year old said, “My friend at school said that babies come from your butt is that true?” This cringe worthy statement got the conversation flowing.
Be direct
Instead of circling around the question address it head on! One thing I found helpful is to outline the differences between a boy and girl. Asking each of my daughters what parts does a boy have that a women doesn’t. This quick anatomy lessons helped set the stage and allowed them to better understand the purpose of each of these body parts.
Ask questions
Ask the question and see what your child already knows. “Do you know what sex means?” You will be surprised what your child already knows. Kids now, at a early age find out or see something on tv and are able to put the pieces together rather quickly.
Instill values
Its important to instill values, when a man and women really love each other and want to start a family together sex is something they do with each other. If you share a religious belief also including this in the conversation helps kids wrap there heads around this topic. One thing you can say is God created us this way so when you marry someone you can create a family.
Be cautious
I made sure to also address the dangers of sex. Sex can be dangerous, there are diseases that can be spread through sex that you can get sick from.
You will see almost immediately the expression on your child’s face of shock, disbelief, when you start this conversation. But as you explain further and keep things open, honest, this first conversation really sets the stage for future conversations.
What’s next?
Now I know I will need to have other sex conversation with them once they hit real teenage years. But for now, this conversation was a good intro conversation. I made sure to make them feel comfortable and say, this is girl talk, you can come and talk to me about any questions you have. Each month I plan on having girls night where we do our nails, or hair and talk about girl things that are going on. The main goal for me as a mother was to educate my girls and more importantly make them feel comfortable enough to come to me and express any feelings, or thoughts they are having.
Have you had the sex talk with your child? If so how did you handle the talk? Add your suggestions and advice below to help another mom in need!
